Rats Nest

"Youre killing me" --- "Youre weak" --- "YOU"
Me. All me.
Me. Fighting back tears.
Me. Rocking back and forth.
Me. Screaming internally.
Me. The one in the wrong.
Im scarred. Close to crippled. Words greased with poison and laced with salt are thrown in my direction.
Running, my brain shuts down.
My ground is black. There is no ground.
Suddenly i feel plastered onto a dark wall.
A haunting, beautiful music starts to play.
Deadly. Makes you want to moan. Almost erotic.
My saving grace appaears. Sharp and gleaming, I hold it to my face and feel the cold reality of the physical realm.
It slides down my already cut up exterior down to my arm.
And more marks. Oh well.
Apparently im nothing. But im killing you.
Imagine my power if i were something.
Like the chorus to a song that catapults you into a place where you float.
So sadistic, so sadistic.
I let out another moan.
The grids appear, invading the vision inside my head. Its about time.
My eyes are thrown open and I sit up straight.
Your elbow pressed into my spinal cord, its such a sweet revelation.
A green pen against green paper.
When I think about you im blank.
16 years. I need an escape, no more empty highs.
Travelled to the edge and back while others occasionally threw a glance.
Pencil sharpenings.
Frayed. Wired.
Help if you can.
Try and understand I love you, precious.
Woven together, your stitched opened, but mine are still strong.
Clutching on.
Running in circles.
Carrying that extra weight.
What a drama queen.
Want to close my jaw so hard that my teeth break eachother off.
Against a white background, kneeling, my mouth gaping open.
And I Will bleed.
Sway in torture.
Feel so alive.
Breathe through my nerve openings.
Am I getting through to you?
Not the brain spark that just connected you to me.
Im going to surrender myself to the remedy unkown.
Throw me into the sun, let my hair fly, escaping the bats trying to pull me back with that sickly evil tune.
Dizzy.
Numbing.
My reflexes dont work.
I feel no pain.
Just occupying space.
A vegetable.
But I choose to live. Or do I?
Im here now. Duration: 2 hours.
The ant I was staring at walked onto my tongue.
Wipe the spotted surface clean.
No answers for my moods.
No flag for my country.
No identity.
Im simply a being.
Not contaminated by the masses who are waiting with torches and balls of ash, but smothered by it.
I withered away a long time ago.
Regenerated, taking a piece of you with me, and locking it in my heel - I walk on you.
Im above you,
Feel trampled? Squashed?
Thats desperation.
Let me out you say.
I liquify and so do you.
Then maybe you'll see we're the same.

Sat Dec 10, 2005 3:18 am MST by ravengirl | Email Article |

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Comments

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Tue Aug 8, 2006 7:18 am MST by Cement

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Tue Aug 8, 2006 4:41 am MST by Cement

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Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:57 pm MST by Stone

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Sun Jul 16, 2006 10:11 am MST by Stone

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Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:58 am MST by phentermine

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Tue Apr 25, 2006 1:01 am MST by Anonymous

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Tue Apr 18, 2006 7:18 am MST by Anonymous

whoa! mindnumbing, heavy stuff for sure....as the author's 24 yr old rather sane although wild sister in London, I can safely state that if indeed you did take any illegal substance to fuel your creativity and dark words.....I'M ABOUT TO FLY ACROSS THE DAMN CONTINENTS TO PERSONALLY MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL! hA! Love ya sis and am thrilled that you aren't churning out drivel akin to the Aguilera/Spears/The Pussycat dolls genre(if you can call it that). Don't 'Cha....wish your lyrics were as cool as Ravengirl's eh people! On the non-encouraging side, guys please inspire my rockin' angst-riddled sis to lighten up a tad ;)

Tue Dec 20, 2005 3:16 pm MST by aurora

Demolition of bodies, smashed and broken, piles of guts, moist and steaming Tendons severing, brains are boiling, unburied corpses in state of decay Rotten limbs start to ferment, torso's torn in two Skin ripped off to expose muscle tissue, butchered for human stew Crawl into the cadaver head first, eat your way through the guts The purgent smell of decaying innards is enough to drive you nuts The spleen of the carcass is oozing from your mouth As you chew on the piss filled kidney's Suck the vomit through intestines, leaving nothing but bones Violently cutting, seriously hacking, sounds of death fill the air Bones sticking out, ripped from sockets, blood spurting everywhere Victim lying dead, neck but no head, smearing remains on your own face Violently cutting, seriously hacking, sounds of death fill the air Blistering flesh, another death, stiffened bones, morbid groans Evil mind, brain oozing slime, feel the pain Body weak brain contorting, fluid flowing from your organs Veins torn our, Mangled Festering flesh, quivering cadaver, ligaments stretched around your own neck Drink the pus, Mangled Severed dick, bloody bowels, the gutted corpse now lies hollow Feeding on feces, Mangled Amputated arms, crushing legs, head is ripped right off your shoulders Thrown in a pile, Mangled Limbs rearranged, head on backwards a humongous heap of twisting flesh Sewn together, Mangled - Mangled His knife plunges in your cold battered body Blood seeping through, the jagged wounds he cuts Unbearable pain, give into death Your life slips away, perish in blood Menacing madman mutilating Destroying, disfiguring, dead you'll be Crushing, cracking, killing you Annihilation, desecration Born through modern day science Man has made his last mistake A creature so hideously horrible Leaving nothing to waste Evil has a new face, a mangled horrible face His views are those of death, nothing will stop his lust Slicing victims left to decay, listening to their mortal cries Unhuman, immortal, bestial, now he owns your soul Crawl into the cadaver head first, eat your way through the guts The pungent smell of decaying innards is enough to drive you nuts The spleen of the carcass is oozing from your mouth As you chew on the piss filled kidney's Suck the vomit through intestines, leaving nothing but bones Human converted to beast, the perfect killing machine Psychotic structure of brain tissue, murder his only memory Dependant on death, crushing your head, I'm addicted to blood Chew the decay

Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:39 am MST by psych0

Lying there cold after a torturous death Your life ended fast you took your last breath Dead in a grave, your final place The maggots infest your disfigured face Pus through your veins takes the place of blood Decay sets in, bones begin to crack Thrown six feet down left to rot Brains oozing black down the side of your broken neck Skull full of maggots They enter your tomb - maggots - beginning to feast - maggots Crawling on you - maggots - now they eat you - maggots Rotting maggots - maggots - infesting your corpse - maggots Parasites of the dead - maggots - now dwell in your head Lying there cold after a torturous death Your life ended fast you took your last breath Dead in a grave, your final place The maggots infest your disfigured face Pus through your veins takes the place of blood Decay sets in, bones begin to crack Thrown six feet down left to rot Brains oozing black down the side of your broken neck

Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:17 am MST by psycho

forgot to write my name..... anonymous it seems.... pah...... deb...... dont any girls comment on ur blog....... except for mal i mean.....

Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:10 am MST by ZeRatNestKing

WOAH lots of comments ! thank you! :D haha.. Vinay - ill keep churnin this shyt out doncha woz :P Harsha - i learnt AIYA frm anime :D and oooooo rose petals *swoons* Anonymous, AKA, Suddu - Mwah to u *pops mint into mouth* haha kidding.. Karan - thanku vewy mucho F - I LOVE U 2!

Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:06 am MST by Anonymous

y oh y on earth wuld anyoen enter ther email addres in a comment? just wen i thought blogeasy had more brains that blogspot. anyway - READ MY BLOG N COMMENT U MEAN GIRL U - btw, u look mor n more lik lindsay frm freaky friday day by day. first hilary then ashlee now this - mak up ur mind lah. and i got the prospectus for NUS. i had it wit me whil we wer r @ d movie n it completely slipped my mind - SORRYY - i had 2 protect u frm dat weird converse all star wearing dude. hasnt he heard of a screen? its sumthin ppl keep ther i's on wen dey go 2 a movie. VERY NICE POST - gothgirl. self mutilation is way below u. ur worth so much mor QUITIT . "Want to close my jaw so hard that my teeth break eachother off. Against a white background, kneeling, my mouth gaping open. And I Will bleed." u gona mak me effin pass out. luv u all da same. XX

Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:01 am MST by F

Thats Very Good - I'm Impressed - Nice Read!

Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:54 am MST by Karan

**closes mouth** my jaw dropped..... i luv it.... but ur getin me woried bout ya..... not that i wasnt to start with.... but i think this article is 'ze' best o da lot..... ahh wat the hell **lets mouth open again**

Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:53 am MST by Anonymous

ok can i wash ur feet in holy water now? and throw some rose petals in ur path mayb? in ur words - 'AIYA'

Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:52 am MST by harsha

devika i alwayz knw u wer wack but dis is seriously psyched out.. love it .. awesome babe.. keep it cummin.. ;-)

Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:51 am MST by vinay

ryan and brian LOL - brothers unite ! lol na. . . ryan im sorry again . . . glad ur in one piece. . dont EVER pass out on me like that again :@ scared the crap outta me luv . . . lol, hey i wasnt smoking or drinkin anything bri bri. . .atleast nothing i remember . . :P

Fri Dec 16, 2005 5:50 am MST by Anonymous

like wowwwww ..... its virtually impossible to have written shit THAT good without smoking/drinking the wrong things ....

Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:23 am MST by brian

fuck . . . babe your on LSD . . .that fucking ROCKS *gets magic marker and scribbles it on room wall* luv u girl . . .

Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:59 am MST by ryan

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