For what its worth

x - i guess im just.. scared
y - scared of what? look.. unless you show someone all that there is to you, how do u expect anyone to love u unconditionally? theres a part of you that you keep hidden all the f**ing time.. its stupid.. want a fag?
x -no .. look man.. at the end of the day its gonna be just me anyway so -
y - so whats the point in taking the risk of showing someone all that there is to you.. right?
x - yeah
y - what the f**k is wrong with u.. on one hand ur not scared of takin anything on, yet ur so bloody insecure.. ur nuts.. u dont have BPD or any bloody problem in ur head.. in its ur heart .. u got hurt once really badly by one mother f**king babboon and youve condemned the entire male species for it
x - its not just the opposite sex! im talking abt platonic relationships as well lah.
y - ooooookay so uve condemned the entire world for it? f**kin hell.. hahaha..
x - you just missed my turn! my house in 4th main ! FOURTH!
y - ok baba.. chill..
x - thankyou... f**k.. what the hell .. theres a kid on the road! stop the car

****
i got out of the car with about 7 friends of mine, and being the only sober one among the bunch, i immediately realized what was going on. There was a boy lying in the middle of the road, his head in a pool of frothy vomit, and his body was bobbing up and down.. The kid was having a fit.
I ran into my house and got my mom as soon as i could, and when i got back out, the dude was going through his 2nd session of fits. this time, it was REALLY bad. all i remember before his body stopped moving, and fell limp, was thinking, 'is that all that it really takes'.
his name turned out to be rahul, and he passed away infront of me. zombie like, i walked into my house and into my room. i sat on the floor hugging my knees for a few minutes trying to comprehend what the hell actually happened.
i got the wake up call i needed, everything makes sense now. everythings fallen into perspective. i wish that person didnt have to die for me to realize that my insanely trivial 'problems' are absolute bullshit compared to whats really going on in the "big bad world"
im going to change. im going to be open, im going to be thankful - and above all, im going to be happy. rather than wallowing in self pity and staying up nights wondering what 'were here for', imma make someone smile, do something that helps someone else. its not fame thats gonna help me leave a mark in this world, its .. what i do on a personal level with that small circle of ppl that my life revolves around.
god bless everyone
and if i havent told u lately, i care abt u all very VERY much.