Hurt

Hurt

I hope hes happy, in that ignorant solitude. I care for him so deeply that sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and start crying. But, I dont call him. Because HE HATES ME FOR REASONS I CANT COMPREHEND. I saw beauty for the first time.. and i saw it in the form of a relationship.. our best friend bond. it was magnificent.. made me whole, made me BELIEVE. I look back at what we shared, and i know i should be grateful - but all i feel is PAIN. why did it end? Why now, does he exchange those same warm words that we once shared with another? and so publically. he used me. i was his trophy, his ego boost - yet i know on another level, we DID share something ineffable. Ive fallen to my knees, weeped in my own puddle - rid me from this hurt, rid me from this confusion. I commit myself to a power greater than me and still flounder. But still, I hope hes happy.

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Comments

Comment no man.. someone else

Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:32 am MST by Anonymous

Comment shit... siddhart?

Fri Apr 7, 2006 11:28 am MST by harsh

Comment when you say it like that it makes a lot of sense

Wed Apr 5, 2006 2:18 pm MST by bob stevens

Comment hahaha ur such an asshole =)

Thu Mar 9, 2006 10:44 pm MST by Anonymous

Comment he aint happy .... cuz he feels the same way and says the same things and he knows u r too ... he hates u for reasons he thought hed never be given a chance to comprehend ... but hes forgiven u ... he forgave u the moment xyz happened because he didnt see the point in breaking off but he makes u feel bad because reality has hit him ... he thinks about you so much .... he cant study ... and hes needs these exams to drop out as weird as that may seem ... thats what makes him unhappy ...he has to force himself to not talkmto you ... hes happy debou because he knows what he had was not something that would fade ... somethings never change ...... he knows it wasnt a 'lesson'(dont bother lying) but u were just trying to protect urself so u wudnt get hurt ... he knew it all the time ... u have every right to cuz hes doing the same thing ... hes there for you as long as his feeble body lets him be ... what happened happened ... it was a vicious circle ... hes sorry for starting it ... but somethings u sed were a dozen or more levels over "getting square" ... but its alright ... he still feels the same way ... but he cant say it .... u still raise him up but he cant say it ... he cries wen he sees the phone vibrating in his hand but he cant say it ... every second thing reminds him of you ... he loves u ... he loves u so much it kills him ... he needs off ... to go to the himalayas and think abt wat thes doin and probably drop in - cal on the way back .... hehe .... rest assured .... hes a fucked up dick without you .... lol .... he looks back at what u shared and he says damn i shudnt be lookin back i should be lookin forward ... "Ive fallen to my knees, weeped in my own puddle - rid me from this hurt, rid me from this confusion. I commit myself to a power greater than me and still flounder." ... Greater Power to Devika - "dont worry ... im working on it ... ive got a similar request from some kid in bangalore ... says he'll "fuck the world that fuked him up" if he dont get on it pronto ... so yeah im pissing in my pants .... this kid is a fucking weirdo .... uses his best freinds ... changes priorities in a second .... doesnt bother telling anyone who where how why what .... but hes got a heart and hes sold it to someone and hes got her heart with him .... dangerous thing the heart to leave with hormone driven 16 yr olds ... HE LOVES U

Mon Mar 6, 2006 10:49 am MST by you raise me up

Comment haha, im sure anju ;) haha.. mal, this was for.. well, ill tell u in private ;) mmmwah

Thu Mar 2, 2006 2:23 am MST by Anonymous

Comment whoa.. who this for???

Wed Mar 1, 2006 10:23 pm MST by mal

Comment who u talkin about???

Wed Mar 1, 2006 3:08 am MST by saad

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